My First Fill

Well my first fill was actually a non event.  I managed to go earlier than expected but that was the good part.  I accidentally went to Tafe today and we don't actually start for another 2 weeks.  So I had a coffee with another girl who turned up with me and then DH (who was working from home) and I went to see Avatar....what a fantastic movie.  How do they come up with that stuff????  Unreal banana peel!!!!

Anyway after the movies I drove the hour plus to see the DR.  Got to see the sidekick I suppose now that I have been operated on I won't see the main surgeon and this kind of sums up my feeling with the clinic I have chosen.  The Dr went through how I had been going and it all seemed fine but I just can't help shaking the feeling that I am just a number.   As the fill went...no big deal.  No sting and 1.5ml in (no idea in cc's sorry).

I then went out to make the appointment for the next month and of course they really have no spots that suit me.  I need to see the dietician this visit and they suggested I see her and come back another time for the DR.  I said no way...at a two hour plus trip no with traffic ...I don't think so.  So all the times basically suck and they only do 2 half days consulting a week.  Just adding to my bad omen feeling is that now that they have the money perhaps they don't care???? 

If I am honest I had some reservations about this at the initial visit but was so keen to get in before Christmas that I just went with it.  I also wanted to go to a hospital far away as my mother was a RN in  hospital theatres in our area and I didn't want to end up with a friend or acquaintance of hers running in to me as I have keep this from my family.  I suppose I didn't really think through the follow up bit in terms of driving time.  Hey I suppose I am closer than Gen or Debi but I hope your support is worth the travel....doubting mine.

I mean in Australia we are so lucky that we don't have to go through all the rigmarol that you guys in the States/ Canada have to but then we pay around $5000 out of pocket if we have health insurance more if we don't.  So for that I get the operation, all follow up visits with the Dr's, dietican and psycholigist(sp) and no further fee's etc but how now that I have the band how that helpful if I can't get decent appointments and support.  I mean they couldn't get me in a month so my next appointment is 5 weeks.

I just feel that this isn't working for me.  I am not losing, I am not eating much but I am getting back into the wine at night.  After the operation I just thought it was a dream come true but no so much now.   So sorry for the whinge....maybe I need a good cry....or it could be coming up to that time of the month???  If it really gets me down I will just go somewhere else closer and pay for the fills.  Will see what happens

Anyway....thought I would go for a swim or deep water aerobics tomorrow now my foot is not hurting so much.  My kids had a great first day and I hope all others going back to school were well settled and happy.  Have been searching the recipe books for a meal tomorrow night so trying to get motivated.

If you bother to read my blog...thanks for listening

Till then ...GB xxx

Happy Australia Day

Well yesterday was Australia Day and I thought I would stop being so shy about who I am and start posting some pics of my beautiful family.

This is my gorgeous 10 year old.  We had to buy the cosies especially for the day.  My sister and her family came over and my dad too.  My mum was in Melbourne watching the tennis.  We spent the day by our pool and having the good old Aussie BBQ.

I took a photo of myself the day before and have decided that I look no different and I am stuck at the moment.  Some days I have great hunger and otherdays like today it is a struggle to eat at all.  I started a salad with Tuna today and it just felt like it wasn't going down right so I just ate the tuna and then a small pkt of nuts I had.  Luckily I had the nuts because I was at work and starving...even though the salad wasn't quite right...weird

Tonight I could only get down the pork strips and a few tiny bits of salad.  I feel super frustrated and just want to get this weight loss moving.  Is this normal??  I have my Dr's appointment so I suppose it couldn't have come at a better time.  Restricted and not....blah

The kids are back at school tomorrow and I am back at Tafe (college).  I have loved the time with the kids and will miss them.   I sort of dread all the sports starting up again but then I love the routine for the kids. 

It will  be full on again so soon with dancing and swimming starting next week and then the soccer and netball registrations and then of course the training and grading etc.

This is my other gorgeous girl who is seven.  Look at all that zinc ....so Australian...and a bugger to get off....anything!!!

This is DH....I made sure it was a shot with his clothes on so you wouldn't all be super jealous!!!! 

These little blondies are my sisters kids.  The girls all had a ball using the surfboard all day!!

Here is our dog Oscar who we rescued last April.  He just loves his ball and will bring it to us while we are in the pool so we throw it to him.  He is such a good boy and has been so great to me while I have been injured.  He has changed my life in so many ways and we all adore him.

Finally...look at these beef patties (burgers) that we cooked for  the kids...in the shape of Australia...how cool

Food wise I was quite food until the homemade ice cream came out....and I drank too much.  It was such a lovely day....just casual and a perfect end to the holidays. 

Well that's it from me.....GB xxx

Is it possible?

I am sick of eating....yes you heard it here.  Am I sick???...in the head maybe.  But the things I want to eat are not going down well and it is HARD trying to think of nutritious foods that cover all the criteria.  This may explain why I didn't eat the best on the weekend.  I wasn't awful but I had a few things I shouldn't have....like a bowl of nuts for dinner on Sat night.  I wanted the chicken kebabs but they stick weirdly in my chest.  I also had ice cream after dinner last night.

The girls made dinner last night....we had nachos with beans and for dessert there was ice cream cookie sandwiches.  We had a lovely weekend...productive and relaxing.  We spent Saturday by the pool and a girlfriend came over with her daughter.  I had a chicken and avacado wrap for lunch...chew chew chew...and no fill yet either.  Then we mucked around with the kids in the pool and on the Wii.

Yesterday we were at home again.  Although DH took the girls up the shops to get their school shoes and I stayed at home to get off my foot.  I then did some ironing and sorted out my recipes into a new Recipe Folder I got from Kikki K.  I love that store.  It looks like this and has all different sections.  I have just started by going through all my recipe mags and just pulling out the ones I think I will make or have made and put them in.  I also cut up some old WW recipe books (have I told you all I used to be a Leader???  So I have heaps of them. ) I think they are great recipes and ok on the waist line too.  I won't cut them all up just the books that were not that good.

I seem to love buying recipe mags....but sometimes I don't even cook anything out of them.  I like to get ideas or sometimes I wouldn't make the recipe because I felt it was too high in fat or carbs or something but I want to now eat a little of everything and get out of that diet mentality.  (when I am back into food again....lol).

Today the girls and I are off to my girlfriends place for a Mothers Group lunch and swim.  We have been friends for around 8-10 yrs and although the kids all go to different schools now we still try and catch up.  Every year we have a Santa Photo too with all the kids and the mums too.....it always gets a crowd around us as people stop to watch.  It is amazing how the kids have grown and changed.  We will take Oscar (our dog) and he can play with Roxy - my friends dog.  They are so funny chasing their balls all day and Oscar actually gets in the pool after a while for a rest and so Roxy won't take his ball....hilarious.

Finally I am going to do a shameless call out for Followers....just like Gen did in her early days.  So if you are out there reading my Blog please pop in and say Hi.  I love comments and also let me know if you have a blog too and what stage of the band you are at.

Later....GB xxx

Thank You

A sincere thanks to all of you who responded to my last post.  I am very hungry today but got stuck on a pancake this morning (a rare breaky treat) so then I was starving by 11.30 and had a chicken wrap from Subway which I could eat all of.  I have also had some strawberries and yogurt later in the afternoon and later again10 rice crackers with eggplant dip.  So that is more than I usually need...maybe I am in Hell.  The great thing is the hunger is not as intense.  Before the band I would get moody and irritable when I was hungry...now my stomach just gurgles and grumbles.  It also makes funny sounds after I eat or drink.   Is this usual???

I also can't believe that 21 of you are interested in my little journey but i so appreciate your support.  I have managed to get around a few blogs now so I am starting to feel in the loop again and can see that many of you are stuck on the scales like me.  At least we have each other.

I think I will get the fill next week...so that will be a new experience for me too.

Finally, I went to the Dr today and he said I can toss the crutches now.....yippee.  In 3 weeks I can start trying to wear normal shoes again with my orthotics on and off with the boot and in about 2 months I MAY be able to start a walking program.  It will be a full year though until I am back to my regular activites though.  But no crutches is fantastic and I feel like just prehaps my life is coming back to me.....8kg down and no crutches.  I still have the boot but hey....did you hear me......NO CRUTCHES!!!! 4 1/2 months was a long time to be a cripple and so now I am only a half cripple.  Yay

Oh and a quick "where are you?" to Emma.  I want to hear about your night out with Cara and to tell you that we had a West Highland Terrier in at work and I kept calling him Westie!!!  He was so stubborn and wouldn't come back in after his wee walk so he just rolled on his back and wouldn't walk.  It was hilarious.  Is Westie stubborn?

Till next time GBxxx

I didn't let the scales get me down...but I am still frustrated...

and this is what I would like to do to my scales!!!! (if you can damn well see it!!!!  How the hell do I find decent pictures on the net and upload them like you all do!!!! And at a decent size??? Help!)  So I digressed.

This week I have been so good...back at work and eating my 4 small meals based on protein and vegies and a tiny bit of carbs and then I get on the scales yesterday and I weigh 1.2kg more.  To say I was dismayed would be being very polite!!!  Farkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!! So I took my measurements and sure enough they were down.  So I knew the scales were lying......lying, lying, lying.  Bastards.

This morning I am back to where I was....see they are LIARS!!! But I have lost no more.  I seem to be stuck....BLAH!!!  I would have thought that my alcohol free days would have got them moving again but then I thought maybe I am eating too few calories???  I might track my calories today and see what they are.

Any other ideas???  Am I in Bandster Hell without the eating???  If I get a fill will I get even more stuck??  I can guzzle water no problemo......Please help....

And finally I am busy with the kids (school hols and picking them up from my great friends after work) and then work itself but I really miss your blogs and plan to do a 'read around' tonight.  So please don't forget me.....and if you read my blog please leave a comment....I love comments and really need some advice right now.

See you all soon

GB xxx

Hooray Hooray Hooray

Well happy days here....just tried in my work uniform and it fits and is COMFORTABLE!!!  What a thrill.  It is not hanging off my but considering when I was last at work - 5 weeks ago I couldn't do up my pants and the top was so tight across my back...it is such a relief.  And a first after the holidays too.

Have a great day

GB xxx

Busy Weekend.

My aunt and her best friend were up for the weekend to mind my sister's kids while her husband and her had a nice weekend away.  He is in the Special Forces with the army and has just recently returned from overseas.  I love my aunt and she is only 11 years older than me and lives in Melbourne.  So we had a social weekend where I drank way too much but other that that coped very well food wise.

I am waking up hungrier in the morning but can still get stuck easily so I am not sure what Dr Taylor will say next Thursday when I meet with him for a visit and maybe a fill??  I can drink quite alot again and have heaps of cuppa teas today so maybe I do need a fill...who knows.  I am certainly not in Bandster Hell but who knows???  Maybe I am getting there????

My aunty made a really great suggestion for Christmas next year that we do a family holiday together.  There is a long story behind this but I will give the abridged version.  My mother had breast cancer 20 years ago and was cancer free for 17 years when it came back in the bones and lungs 3 years ago.  Well after chemo for about a year she is stable again now but we do really value all the time we can get together when we can as it won't be going away.  So my aunty read this great article about a family of 16 who went on a cruise together to celebrate a family member's birthday.  They could do whatever they liked in the day but always met up at dinner.

So we thought this would be a great idea to do and after lots of talking we may be going on a cruise the week before Christmas this year.  All the family is talking about it and we will decide next week and possibly book it then.  This would be great as the kids have always wanted to do a cruise and I have heard that the more who go the merrier but we would still be able to have our space if needed.  And guess what?????  I will be thinner than I am now...well well well on my way to goal!!!  How exciting to be planning a holiday where I can where the clothes I want and not be hassled about it before hand.

I am loving the band. I don't think about food that much anymore except to plan on what I can eat to get the best lot of nutrients in for the day....protein, vegies etc....  I am not feeling that much lighter this week but have been social with the drinking so will stop that now.  On another point about the band I am not dieting anymore.  I am letting myself choose healthy options and if I feel like something then I can have just a little (shame I never stop at one wine...need to work on that!!!)  So all is great.

Back at work tomorrow so this will be crunch time with my foot.  I have a follow up Dr's appointment this Friday after 3 days on my feet ....I am hoping that my foot is ok after those 3 days and I may get out of this damn boot and off crutches and that will mean I am closer to getting back to exercise again.  Send good thoughts out to the universe for me please.  If I don't I will seriously look at swimming (not my favourite exercise ) or getting a PT to work with me on weights or something....anything will be better than nothing I suppose.

Have made a very yummy looking vegie quiches thing with vermicelli noodles in it and loads of different vegies.  So I will let you know how it goes.  Foodwise today I had a small bowl of meusli for breakfast, a tuna mix with celery and mayonaise in a mountain bread for lunch and for afternoon teas I had some strawberries and yogurt.  Tea will be this slice thingy which has the egg and cheese for protein.  So seems I am still just having the 4 small meals a day.

Well I hope everyone is going well with their own journeys....

Till next time...GB xxx