New low and other stuff

Thanks to everyone for their wonderful comments about my mum...I really appreciate it.   She had a catheter put in her next last week...unfortunately on her birthday....and starts chemo next Monday.  My sister just returned from a few weeks overseas and so just found out about it all yesterday.  That was really hard knowing that she was going to get that news....but I am glad she is in the picture now.

On the band front I have now lost 24kg (52.8 lbs) so that is great.  I went back to the Dr on Friday and he was thrilled with my loss this month of 3.7 kg (8.14 lbs) and my total loss so far.  He said that I have now lost over 58% of my excess body fat and would like me to get to about 73kg (160.06 lbs).  My worst weight result is just 2.4 kg away and my ultimate goal weight would be 70kg (154 lbs) so I am right on track at the moment.  I didn't get a fill and have been hungrier but still feel restriction.  I am craving weird food atm so just trying to do my best on my non diet.

I have had something similar to Roo for the last 10 days where I have a constant headache and sore throat but nothing much else.  I did stay in bed for 3 days the weekend before last due to my crippling headache but in hindsight I think I feel a bit down about mum and laying around helped in it's own weird way.  Feeling like crap is playing havoc with my exercise...none ...and my head.  I have felt really fat for the last few days even though I weigh the lowest on this journey...go figure....I just feel blah!!!!

The Memorial Day Bathing Suit Challenge has ended and many thanks to Kristen for organising this.  She is now organising a new Summer Challenge so be sure to check it out and join in the fun.  I started the Challenge at 87.6 and lost 6kg (13.2lbs) and that included my Easter binge period so I am very happy with the results.  Congrats to Joey who won the challenge...well done.

I have been busy with College and my assignments ...and I still have another 2 to do so it is not over yet.  I also have a big practical this week so it will be good to get that one over with.  My eldest daughter turned 11 last week and so she has had a ball with her new bike and heelies...you know the shoes with wheels on them...and she had a sleep over last weekend with four of her friends.  They were so well behaved and included my youngest daughter which always helps doesn't it???

I am really enjoying getting back into some of my old clothes and even bought a pair of straight leg size 12 jeans last week.  I have a huge muffin top but the legs fit great, so hopefully I can wear them soon.  I used to always be a pear shape but after my second daughter I developed a tummy issue especially above the waist.  I am hoping that this dissappears as I come into losing the last 10kg (22lbs).  It is great to be able to dress more fashionably and I am loving it.

Here are some more recent pics of me....I just don't understand why I always look fatter in the pics...anyway.....WTF???  (Check out Oscar in the first pic!!!)

Finally I just want to say congrats to Cara, Alexis and Linda who are all celebrating or about to celebrate their one year anniversary.  You are an amazing inspiration to me and I am sure many others.  Enjoy your success 

Talk soon

Welcome to my Pity Party

Yep...it's my blog and I'll cry (or scream) if I want to.....so no need to read on.

• A sales assistant today guessed my size as 14, which is correct, but it pissed me off because I thought I looked smaller and I guess I don't.  The reality is my thighs still suck, I have a double chin and back fat after losing 22kg or 50 lbs.  The pants fit but didn't look great...they are only for work but still.  I fit into a size 12 of my old jeans and it is clear that I stretched them when wearing them whilst the scales kept going up.  And these pants today were Suzanne Grae which I think run big.
• My mum has more tumours in her bones and some spots on the liver and so has to have another 6 months of chemo every week for 3 weeks, one week off, then it starts again.  Her hair has only just grown back after the 12 months of chemo she under went and yep it will go again.  She said 'fark' over 4 times so that tells you something if you knew my mum.  Breast cancer 20 years ago only to come back 3 years ago in the bones and lung and now this.  My poor mum.
• Jacquie sent me 2 issues of Southern Living about 10 days ago.  Why does this piss me off???  Because when she sent them we were all excited about our future and since then her families world has come crashing down and it shits me.  Poor Jacquie and I wish I could do something to help her.  However, it really does make me appreciate and hug my own family a little closer and be grateful for every extra day I get with my mum.
• I am sick of never feeling good enough.  I want to be supportive of you all but every time I read a blog about how supportive people are it makes me feel guilty....I want to support someone.  I get so insecure....what is wrong with me???  I had such a good day and week besides my mum's news so why do I let these things get to me???
• My band is SPASTIC.  Weeks of being really really tight, spewing Sunday arvo and night after fries and pastry yet today I can eat heaps???  I know it is probably because TOM is nearing but WTF?  Next week I will be super tight due to TOM and then I see the Dr on Friday and will probably get a small fill like last time thinking that I was eating too much before my (.) and suffer for another 3 weeks.  Or won't get one and then won't lose....and Barbara has scared me about band erosion ...so I will be asking that question!!!!  And I think I PB too much when not tight
• Hubby and I were enjoying DESSERT and then I burst into tears at the end about my mum....why then???
• Also why has my weight stagnated this week when I can barely eat and why do I have to be so tight to get the scales moving even though I barely eat anything.
• So many of you have 100 followers and have been blogging for way less than me...so why do I suck???
  
  I am probably shitty because of TOM.

Well enough of shitty old me....Don't comment because tomorrow I will probably erase this post...and what is there to say????

Thanks

Thanks for all your supportive comments on my last post...I am slowly trying to get around the blogs again....I miss you all.

I did well in my last 2 tests...topped the class and got distinctions so all good there...I am also on top of the assignments too.

Band news....still very tight but still losing.  Am down 22.8kg now which is 50 lbs down.....can't complain about that.  Some of my 14's are too big and I am loving getting dressed each day as I have a great choice of clothes again

In even more exciting news ...I saw my specialist yesterday and I can start some slow walking...15min every second day and build up to 35 mins in 3 weeks and then see him again.  This is such great news as I can finally walk the girls to school again and take Oscar for a walk.  Si life is getting there....and I am sure 22 kg down has only helped the foot situation

Gotta run...have a mammogram and then the girls netball and tonight DH and I are going to see Robin Hood and some dinner and who knows what else...wink wink wink

Talk soon

Mothers Day Vlog...

...the one I promised....I don't know why I couldn't load it.

I am sorry but I just can't keep up with the blogs atm and it just makes me feel terribly guilty when I try and then find that some of you have been struggling and I have not been there to support you...I am so sorry.

I can't see things changing anytime soon and the guilt and wanting to be part of it all is eating at me....then I think I should just give up blogging because you guys still find the time to comment or when I don't comment maybe some of you think why should you bother with me....anyway ...that's how I am feeling. Stressed, tight, assignments and family committments, ironing and exercise, Relay for Li..fe wrap up parties and where does the time go???

Anyway...this is my family...

Take Care

Sally xxx

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

22 & Vlog.....I might become addicted to them.....

I seriously can not believe it....I am down another 2 kg this week....making my total loss 22.2 kg or 48.84 lbs.  Mind you I am having a tough time of it and I suppose the weight loss is worth it.

I am super super tight.  Water gurgles through the band...if fact I just went and made myself PB and only water came up and a few tiny bits of bacon.  I had 3 tiny bites of it for Mothers Day breakfast.  Yesterday I had about 12 nuts, then later a skim cappacino, 2 rice crackers and cheese and 2 slithers of homemade pizza on lebanese bread and that came back up.  I do feel dehydrated too but I supose the wine doesn't help!!!

Happy a fantastic weekend and Mothers Day...we are taking our little tinny (boat) out on the river nearby and just pulling up on some sand and watching the girls play while we read the papers and have some nibbles (cheese and biscuits) and some champagne.  Yesterday I bought some clothes.  Lorna Jane have these fabulous Flash Dance pantsand they had a special on them 2 for $100....they are so so comfy.  Better than track pants if you ask me and more stylish too.  Anyway my old one are an XL and yesterday I got a medium....whooooo hooooo and a second pair in a pink camoflauge color to work on getting into.  I am so loving getting dressed and going out again and I am having more and more of a choice from my wardrobe.

The band has truly changed my lofe my taking food and eating out of my focus so much and now I am just enjoying my life.  Sure I still think about food and eating but it is not an obsession anymore.  I was doing a jigsaw puzzle with Kate this morning and we were singing to songs on the radio and this great song came on and as we were singing it I realised that they were singing about my life ...now.  It is a song called 'I made it' by Kevin Rudolf and others.  The lyrics that hit me were ' I used to dream of the life I am living now....I made it'  and to me that is so true...I used to dream of having kids and a husband, a job I loved and enough money to lead a good life  but I have that now and the cherry on top is I am not obsessed about my weight anymore and to me this is such a blessing and has opened my mind up to so manyother exciting things because I don't have to think about the weight and which diet I am going to go on 24/7.

Love you all

Bored...

Well I am sitting here at College bored out of my brain waiting to do my pracs. Arghhhh....I was so bored that I started listening to the water gurgle thru my band with my stethescope. I am super tight all I have had all day is half a cup of protein shake, a skim cappacino, a cheesestick and some dried chickpeas which are stuck. I am so not hungry and water is gurgling. It is so embarassing the noises. I know I am super close to needing an infill but hanging in hoping that it eases like last time. Ihave had a headache every day for 3 days too...comes in the afternoon. I hope they call my name soon...

Sally. Xxxxx

91....

OK....thanks to everyone for their beautiful messages after my Vlog.....it really meant the world that you took the time to comment.  I really put myself out there....but that is just me.

Now the thing is .....yesterday I had 92 followers and today I have 91...yep someone unfollowed me.  And the thing is I am wondering why????  Was it my voice, my hair or my tongue that tipped you dear follower over the edge....it just couldn't have been my dog....he is too cute.

Oh well....sorry I drove you away...I didn't mean to and at least you dumped me now and not after I flew all the way to Chicago because then I would have been really paranoid!!!!

Goodbye......

My First Vlog...

Well this is really hard for me to post because I hate the way I look and sound but I promised....

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

by the way when I say what to bring from the States I meant Australia....

Ps:  Sorry Roo and Sandy if you don't like my voise...you are stuck with me!!!! he he he

Twenty Kilos down.....

Oh yes...did a big fat happy dance this morning....20.4 kg down (44.88 lbs).

Wooooooo Farkin Whooooooooo!!!!!

As you can see I am not happy about it...LOL

Oh and I just noticed on my ticker that I am not obese anymore....how about that????

So including my pre surgery diet that means I have lost on average of 1 kg a week or 2.2 lbs.  Can't be dissappointed with that???  And I am not.  I have enjoyed some treats and my wine and am thrilled to be only 6 kg (13.2 lbs) from my worst outcome from the surgery weight and only 14 kg (30.8 lbs) from my best weight outcome result.  Not too shabby!!!!
Thanks to everyone for your lovely comments on my posts...I love them all.  I have also been remiss to say thanks to the girls who offered to send me Southern Living...with my assignments and exams I totally forgot about that.  I will email you shortly to say thanks!!!!

Now can someone tell me how to do a Vlog???? 

Talk soon

So many things to tell...

Firstly, the Re.lay for li.fe went really well.  Lots of our team stayed all night and raised funds for Cancer.  I couldn't walk due to my foot injury but helped out all day and this morning on the info tent so I feel I did my bit.

I hit a new low this morning .....19.8 kg down (43.56lbs) just .2 kg (.44lbs) away from 20kg down.  I am very happy about that and plan to do a Vlog ...about who knows what....when I hit 20kg down.  My new restriction is super tight.  Can't eat till about 12 midday and can even hear fluid going down but it is so hadr with my Dr being and hour away and they do appointments monthly so I have to take the fills if I need them when I go.  I know it will ease soon and I love the weight loss that comes with it.

At the RFL they have the local Ulyss.es club come down and give free rides to Cancer survivors and carers.  This club is International but if you haven't heard of it...they are Bikers...not bikies....who have rides together and promote bike safety etc. You have to be over 40 to join and their motto is 'Grow Old Disgracefully'.  Now many years ago when dad was in his fifties we asked him what he would like to do with his later life and he said 'Learn to ride a motorcycle' and he did.  He joined Uly,sses and soon became involved with all they had to offer...he went on rides and then led them, went to the meetings then ran them, he took mum on the back of the bike for weeks at a time and she did it....she no longer does because of the cancer....but now my dad is the Australian National President of the club and of course everyone knows him.  So yesterday I decided to face my fears...after all I am coming to Chicago and you guys have promised to love me...a big fear is tha you won't.....and I went on a ride.  The lady organising it said to the bikers 'This is Denis ***** daughter.  She has never been on a bike who wants to take her???'  Well they all feigned horror lol and then Ken said he would take me.  I had the best time ever....it was so exhilerating and freeing.  I loved it.  And I think losing so much weight made me feel more confident.  I plan to go on a ride now with Dad and I just want you all to know how proud I am of him.

This morning I also told my family that I am coming to Chicago to meet some internet friends.  They were really supportive.  I told them I knew Roo from Scrapbooking in Australia and she now lived in Dubai and I had the opportunity to meet her and Sandy Lee and a whole other group of friends I met thru her who have been through similar experiences.  They thought it was great and that I should go for it.  So a little lie about the scrapping and knowing Roo but the rest was true and now I can show them all the pics etc...what a weight off my chest.  Mum said she can move in for the week to help with the kids...she is a trooper and loves us to have great experiences and my girls love her so it is all working out well.  Now if Roo ever meets them in Oz she will have to proclaim her love of scrapping.  (Side note:  I was hugely into scrapping about 3-4 years ago...I have been in many mags and even had a front cover as well as my own DVD and taught classes and was on Design Teams in the internet sites etc...so that is why the scrapping part worked so well) 

However, I had half a 200gm yogurt at Mum's and coughed about 3 minutes after eating and PB'ed at the table.  I ran to the bathroom with my hand over my mouth but some ended up on the table and when I came out they were worried I had vomited.  Well, I just said I had a sore throat and coughed up some of the yogurt...my aunty asked why hadn't I swallowed it???  I di my best to make up a story but oh so embarassing....so they might guess my story soon.  One of my friends asked me after I rushed to the loo...that she was worried I had bullima....oops

I have a recipe I want to share with you.  It came from Donn.a Hay's kids cookbook and is very quick and simple.

Mini Bacon Meatloafs

Ingredients:

500gm pork or chicken mince

1/2 cup breadcrumbs

1/4 cup BBQ sauce

6 slices of short cut bacon

Method:

Mix mince, breadcrumbs and sauce together and spoon into muffin trays.  Top with the bacon.  Bake for 30 mins.

This mix sometimes make 8 muffins in which case you would need 8 slices of bacon....it just depneds on the size of your muffin tray.   And sometimes you need to 'tuck' your bacon in!!!! I serve with vegies or a salad.

This one is a little burnt but you get the idea...perfect Bandster size and freeze very well too.

Thanks to everyone especially Jen - Southern Belle who puts out heaps of recipes at Grits, Greens and Everything in Between .  I love the recipes and made the slow cooker Monday Asian Chicken and my daughter professed it was the best chicken I ever made....I also made a curried zucchini soup this week  from someone's blog (thanks!!!) and we loved it!!!  We also made Amy's Pulled pork Taco's posted on the blog and my family loved them except that hubby thought the pork was too good for taco's!!!!  I appreciate your time in posting recipes.

I need to do a post about my insecurites but don't want to make this one too long....some are creeping up to the surface through blogging and I now remember why I stopped my last blog...about Scrapbooking ...and I so don't want that to happen with you guys....but another post.

My sister is self absorbed....no nice way to put it.  She lost some weight a few years back and yes she looks great.  She claims not to be vain but has since got botox and her boobs done and not vain people don't do that AND live for the compliments.  Now jealousy you may say????  Yep....there is some but I also want some recognition because I have lost way more than she ever did and NOT ONE WORD!!!  Nothing.  But I am supposed to notice her new pants and her walking efforts and everything about her...and it shits me.  Especially when HER friends make my family feel uncomfortable on the weekend....arghhhhhh....OK off my chest!!!!!  Thanks for listening....like you had a choice.....

Here is my BYOC.....just for mama pimp who I wish I had noticed that she needed something from us this week ...but I didn't...just like my sister!!!  Sorry Draz...I will do BYOC to make up!!!

1. What is your favorite smell?

I can't smell many things so unfortunately I can't really comment on this one.  I do admit to feeling envious of your answers though.  Occasionally I smell petrol, or the salt from the beach gets up my nose or cigarette smoke if I inhale it but otherwise...nothing.

2. What is your all time favorite movie and why?

I Love the escapism of movies...so one is too hard and I am following Joey's lead and naming a few....Shawshank Redemption, Sense and Sensibility, Get Shorty (it is so clever), Usual Suspects and more recent ones include The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, The Blind Side and Avatar.  I love movies...oh and I loved the Time Travellers Wife...Chicago was in it too


3. What's your trigger food?

Wine....and freshly made slices....yummmmy

4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?

I am not going to lie...I talk alot!!!  But when someone is hurting I shut my mouth and use my 2 ears and 1 mouth in that porportion...more listening than talking.  I back that up with care....emails, phonecalls and sms  I am not perfect but I love my friends and try to be there when they need me.

5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?

Ok...breaking the rules again...Roo for her courage...Gen for her thought provoking skills, her SOB with Judi and for making me spend more time with my kids, Catherine for moving on, and finally Band Babe for sharing her story and taking the time to answer my questions.....
That was hard for me because these things often lead into my blogging insecurity...anyway....you all rock...thanks.

If you don't follow my new bestie Sandy Lee then you are missing out.  She is a gem and very caring so get on over to her blog as she needs one more follower to hit 100.  ( I am sure she is already there but as followers won't appear for me atm I don't know)

As the followers won't appear I can't follow a few of you that i left comments saying I would so if I am not following you please let me know.

I want to leave my Aussie readers a great pic of me with some of the funniest guys I love:

Yep...H.amish and And.y...we met them at Melbourne airport on our recent visit and they are the best!!!  So nice and cute to boot and yes I have my hand on Hamish's bum...yum!!!!  Oh and those 2 girls are cute too...yes they are mone...hubby is taking the picture

And here is the view from our room on my bnirthday weekend....yes just 20 min from our house...

...this is the weekend hubby told me I could go to Chicago...what a view and April to boot.

Thanks for reading.....